听着同学们 集中精神 你们都知道这很重要 Listen, guys, concentrate. It's important you remember this.
准备好 她来了 Get ready. She's coming.
三 二 In three, two...
噢 队长 我们的队长 ALL: Oh, Captain, my Captain.
同学们 不要这样 Guys. Come on.
每次我去上个厕所他们都这样 - 来教研室一趟 - They do this every time I try and go to the loo. - Staff room.
是约会么？ - 开会 - It's a date. - It's a staff meeting.
老师 你说过会把我弄下来的 Oi, sir, man! You said you were going to help me down!
不良教育 S01E03
译制：cocok7
自 我 防 卫
我要你们的衣服 书 你们的注意力 I want your clothes, your books and your attention, please.
Mollinson 这只是个电影的开场白 Mollinson, Mollinson. It's just a line from a film.
是时候纠正我禁止在学校有宗教符号的错误了 it turns out I was wrong about the ban on religious symbols in schools.
那规定只适用于法国 所以是我的过失 That law applies to France only. My bad!
那么 要是有学生想拿回自己的东西 So, if any of the pupils want to reclaim their possessions,
我这有十三个十字架 I've got 13 crucifixes,
三顶小圆帽 还有Samira Habsi罩袍 three skullcaps, and Samira Habsi's burqa.
Habs先生爆炸了 Mr Habsi exploded.
不是你想的那样 Not like that.
尽管如此 还是对我误读他的信仰要道歉 Although, to apologise for my misreading of his faith,
我送了他一瓶酒还有典当的火腿 I've sent him a bottle of wine and a hock of ham.
Fraser我能发言吗 今早我在Metro上看到这个 Fraser, can I raise something? I read this in Metro this morning.
天哪 你看Metro 我也看Metro 太巧了吧 Oh, my God! You read Metro? I read Metro, too. That is so weird.
上面说这个电脑游戏让青少年沉迷 It says there's this video game that kids are getting obsessed with.
东京罪SS 死光区 Tokyo Sin SS - Dead Light District.
根据这个 According to this,
孩子们扮演忍者追捕和谋杀纳粹妓女 the child plays a ninja who hunts down and murders Nazi prostitutes.
是在自由世界还是独裁时代 Is it free world or platform?
孩子们模仿里面的动作 Kids are copying the moves,
在操场上互相打架 打空手道 beating each other up in the playground, doing karate.
颜射？ - 空手道 - Bukkake? - Karate.
你是真聋了 You're so deaf.
禁止这游戏 消灭病毒 Ban the game, kill the virus.
我赞同 Isabelle I agree with Isabelle.
既然如此 我们为什么不把滑轮鞋也禁了 Whilst we're at it, why don't we ban those wheelie shoes?
我拍了一个男生的头 他一下滑过走廊 I smacked a boy on the head, he shot off down the corridor,
然后直线穿过玻璃窗走廊 went straight through a plate glass window.
这个我不赞同 Isabelle I no longer agree with Isabelle.
其他学校暴力更糟糕 看看Stephen Other schools are tough on violence. Look at St Stephen's!
他们收缴武器 - 再转回来一下 - They had a weapons amnesty. - Re-to-the-wind.
有人对个蓬发男说我在浴室的地板上 Someone call Shaggy and tell him it was me on the bathroom floor.
要想知道学生们为什么沉迷这些游戏 If we want find why this kids inthralment this games
我们要找到静脉 拍到看见为止 we need to bring up a vein, take a hit ourselves and see
以免我们没法帮他戒毒瘾 if we can't help them kick the habit.
怎么 你不是要买游戏吧 What? You're not seriously considering buying the game?
咱们的预算应该够的 I think our budget can stretch to that.
能不能买足球 Ooh, can it stretch to FIFA?
这个公事Alfie This is work, Alfie.
你自己出钱想要什么都行 When you're at home you can play whatever you want.
我和我丈夫玩过一点点 My husband and I play with Wee.
哦 在任天堂上玩吗 Oh, you're on Nintendo?
任天堂是什么东西 What's Nintendo?
散会 Meeting adjourned.
那个 关于收缴的事 Hey. So, about that amnesty thing.
我觉得我们也应该实施 由我和你 I was thinking that we should do one of them here, me and you.
在咱们学校 真有必要吗 What, at Abbey Grove? Do you think it's that bad, really?
我一直避免跟你说这些 这里也是丛林社会 Yeah. I keep you shielded from it but it's a jungle out there.
学生们有武器 - 是啊Mitchell Joe Rem Dogg - OK, our kids have weapons? - Yeah. Mitchell, Joe, Rem Dogg...
坐轮椅的那个？ The boy in the wheelchair?
他的最厉害 他有钉鞋 He's the worst. He's got, like spikes
再戴上轮沿帽装宾虚里的人 that he puts on his hub caps like in Ben-Hur.
收缴上来确实是个好主意 Well, I do think an amnesty could be a good idea.
有了 Ooh, I know.
我可以给我们的炒作一下 - 炒作 - I could get our amnesty some press. - Press?
我在观察报有熟人 - 是吗 - I've got a contact at the Observer. - Ooh, the Observer?
沃特福德观察报 The Watford Observer.
我曾经勾搭过第三版的女孩 I used to hook up with a page three girl there.
沃特福德观察报就没有第三版 The Watford Observer doesn't have a page three.
她在第三版写了关于我的文章 Well, her article about me was on page three.
你怎么上报纸的 - 我腿伤了 - Why were you in the press? - Broke my leg
在玩真人象棋时候 playing human chess.
等会 你伤了腿 - Sorry, you broke your leg...
关于收缴 我要找个大地方 - So, the amnesty, we're going to need a venue.
我觉得 - 食堂 - Now I was thinking... - Canteen?
去Nando 耍一下轮盘 Nando's. A little wing roulette.
有两面 还有豌豆 大米 Two sides, macho peas, the rice.
再看个电影 之后庆祝一下 Maybe a movie afterwards to celebrate?
我去看看食堂是不是免费的 I'll see if the canteen's free.
随便你 Suit yourself.
那个 媒体会喜欢这个吧 Hey, the press are going to love this, aren't they?
小有名气的情侣 让世界变的更好 Little celebrity power couple, changing the world for the better.
Brangelina, Bennifer...
Rudy - Rudy你哪个 - Rudy. - Who's Rudy?
Richard还有Judy Richard and Judy.
我会去看你的午饭 别搞Nando I'll see you at lunch, Alfie. Please don't book Nando's.
我不会的 怎么会呢 I won't. I couldn't.
我尽量 I've tried.
也不能预订 They don't take bookings.
鸡肉是最先上的 亲爱的 Their chicken's first come, first served, baby.
不是我的班级 Not my class.
听着 同学们 我有很重要的事要你们做 OK, guys, there's something very important that I need you to do.
谢谢 - 不客气 是免费的 - Ooh, thanks. - No problem. It's on the house.
朋友就应该这样 不是吗 Because that's what friends do, isn't it?
互相给对方买东西 They buy things for each other.
怎么都这么颓废 You all look knackered.
你们开派对没邀请我 Have you had another party that I wasn't invited to?
他们都玩了东京罪 - 对 老兄 东京罪老牛叉了 - They've all been playing Tokyo Sin. - Yes, bruv, Tokyo Sin is dench!
等一下 玩过的人举手 Hang on, hands up if you've got this game.
我就知道 Joe 我唯一理智的学生 Typical, Joe, the only one of my crew with a little bit of sense.
那是18禁 我妈不给我买 It's just that it's an 18 and my mum won't buy it for me.
要是我有个成年朋友就好了 If only I had an adult friend who owed me big time.
老师 东京罪太时髦了 Sir, Tokyo Sin is just a craze.
你从没时髦过吧 老师 You don't get crazes, though, do you, sir?
你钱包里的安全套都过期了 NYou're older than that condom you got in your wallet.
老师不需要时髦 他去过贵族男校 Sir didn't get crazes, cos he went to a posh boys school.
忙着和首相玩魁地奇 Too busy playing quidditch with David Cameron.
好了 我没去过霍格沃兹 Right, I didn't go to Hogwarts.
以前我们也很时髦 And look, for the record, we had crazes too.
Pogs Yeah. Pogs.
相当时髦 谁知道Pogs Mmm, now there was a craze. Who remembers Pogs?
Pogs!
你们错过了真可惜 Oh, you missed out! Pogs were amazing.
找些小纸板盘 You had these little cardboard discs, right,
堆成一座塔 and you piled them up into a tower,
然后再拿一个纸板盘扔 and then with another cardboard disc you'd chuck it
堆起纸板盘 at the pile of cardboard discs, and it...
我承认Pogs过时了 I'm going to accept that Pogs has not aged well.
Stephen 这个游戏你能接受吗 Stephen, no offence, but this game, is it your kind of thing?
渔网袜纳粹 就像在卡巴莱餐馆 Nazis in fishnets? It's just like Cabaret.
Chantelle你是过女生 Chantelle, you're a girl...
那里能接触最多在线玩家 看我的 Who meets guys on the online multiplayer. Look me up.
我昵称是Jailbait 就一个词 My name's Jailbait. All one word.
我还有摄像头 And I've got webcam.
没门 Blocked.
看吧 只有我 - 你错过了 See? I'm the only one. - You is missing out, fam.
有人玩过闪电踢没有 介绍一下 Anyone done blitz kick yet, the finisher move?
对着脑袋就是一脚 嘣的一声脑袋没有 You kick 'em in the head - whah - head explodes - boom -
脑浆到处都是 brains everywhere!
我当然玩过 我还有原盘 Course I have, I got bare tekkers.
你用的是PC 那玩意早过时了 Yeah, but you play it on PC, don't ya? That shit is old.
你在哪弄的 你奶奶的黑木耳里吗 Where'd you find it? Your nan's vadge?
至少我姐姐不是同性恋 Least my sister ain't lesbian.
她不是 - 她去大学了 - 怎么了 - She ain't lesbian. She goes to university. - And?
谁都知道大学里都是同性恋 - 滚一边去 轮椅男 - Everybody knows university's for lesbos! - Do one, Gran Turismo!
你俩别秀恩爱了 我在你们这么大时有任天堂64 Oh, you two, stop flirting. When I was your age I had an N64.
那个能把东京罪甩出几条街 And that had far better games on it than Tokyo Sin.
Zelda就是经典 Zelda...
要它能干嘛 打扮的像个瘾君子吹长笛 What you do in that? Dress up like a bender and play the flute?
是陶笛 It was an ocarina.
哦 陶笛 那你靠这个肯定泡到妹子了 Oh, wow, an ocarina. Bet that helped you get the ladies.
是 确实有帮助 Mitchell Yeah, it did actually, Mitchell.
我应该把它借给你姐姐 Maybe I should lend it to your sister.
我就说过 Told!
重点是你太年轻 容易随波逐流 Look, the point is, you're all very young and impressionable
游戏对你们来说是很危险的 and a game like this is dangerous
因为里面鼓励暴力 because it is encouraging you to be violent.
所以说 我要你们把一些武器 That said, I am going to need you to get hold of some weapons -
球棒 弹簧刀 链子 bats, flick knives, chains.
细心考虑一下 午餐时交上来 Think outside the box. Bring anything you find into lunch.
好的Habsi先生 我明白 Yes, Mr. Habsi, I understand.
再见 Shalom.
不是 不是这个词吗 No, that's the other ones, isn't it?
恭喜 喂 Mazel tov? Hello?
Alfie 伟大的Alfie 名门之后 Alfie! Alfred the Great, son of Aethelwulf
众多英格兰贵族都有亲戚 and Osburga of Oslac, Thane of Wessex.
你又在看维基百科 I see you've been on Wikipedia again.
大家都反应过度了 不过他们说的没错 Look, I thought everyone was over-reacting, but they're right.
我们班的学生都在玩那个游戏 All of my class are playing that game.
这就是让我头疼的原因 That's why I've been raping my brain.
是绞尽脑汁 It's "racking my brain."
教皇是印度人 - 不是 - Is the Pope Hindu? - No.
你要怎么阻止时髦 用另一种时髦取代它 How do you stop a craze? Invent a craze to replace it.
你可以吗 - 坐下 大侠 - Do you? - Right. Take a seat, dragon.
大侠 Dragon?
现在是Fraser时间 Next into the den is Fraser,
谁会巧妙的给孩子投资 who wants investment for his ingenious crazes for kids.
第一个 纹身 First up, tattoos.
纹身 Tattoos?
这是没有受害人的犯罪还有教育性 They're a victimless crime and potentially educational!
学生们可以纹个世界地图 元素周期表 The kids could get a map of the world, the periodic table,
毕加索的格尔尼卡 or Picasso's Guernica.
我觉得有些家长会反对 Yeah. I suspect some of the parents might object.
说出来 - 说什么 - Say it, then. - Say what?
你见过龙穴 - Fraser我们没在龙穴 - You've seen Dragons' Den. - Fraser, we're not on Dragons' Den.
你不说我就不动 I'm not moving till you say it.
我说了是不是能快点结束 If I say it, will this all be over quicker?
我退出 I'm out.
第二个想法 学生们喜欢动物是吧 - 应该吧 - Craze two! Kids like animals, right? - Yeah, I guess.
水果动物 Franimals.
水果做成的动物 Animals made from fruit.
看 橘子tang还有他妻子苹果tamus Behold, Orange-a-tang and his jungle wife, Apple-o-tamus.
我要退出 当然我要离开 Right, I'm out. And I'm also leaving.
斑马香蕉 Zebranana?
你该吃药了 You need help.
去死吧 纳粹贱人 Die, Nazi bitch!
回旋踢 干 - Blitz kick! - Bullshit.
这可真尴尬 Oh, this is embarrassing.
这使Mollinson更像运动白痴 It's turned Mollinson into even more of dribbling idiot.
吃我一拳 Eat my fist, you ho!
Rosie去哪了 Erm, where's Rosie?
你哪位 Who are you?
Ron 我今天协助Rosie I'm Ron. I'm assisting Rosie today.
Ron 你不知道Roise已经找我协助她了吗 Well, Ron. I think you'll find Rosie asked me to assist her.
你可以一边呆着了 So you can assist off.
我说大副 我来这 Look, mate. I have to be here.
是因为必须要有专业人士在场 A licensed weapons expert must be present.
是啊 大副 所以Roise才让我来 Well, mate, that is exactly why Rosie asked me to be present,
因为我有枪 because I actually own a gun.
怎么样？没有比这更专业了的吧 Yeah, don't get much more expert than that, do you?
你有枪 - 没错 我有枪 Ron - You own a gun? - Yes, I own a gun, Ron.
一把格洛克 It's a Glock.
是在酒吧里跟一个阿尔巴尼亚人买的 I bought it off some Albanians in the pub.
他们一直买给我些黑货 枪啦 毒品啦 They're always selling me black market shit - guns, drugs,
还有禁片 a snuff film.
那你有什么 武器专家先生 Yeah, so, what heat you packing, Mr Weapons Expert?
辣椒喷雾的专业技能 - 辣椒喷雾 - Standard issue pepper spray. - Standard issue pepper spray!
什么情况 你中年妇女啊 What are you, an old woman?
我是警察 I'm a police officer.
对 Right.
你是 Good.
真的很抱歉 I'm sorry.
刚才我瞎编的 I was lying.
其实我没有枪 I don't own a gun.
那个阿尔巴尼亚人 就买给我一张光盘 And the Albanians, they sold me, like, one DVD once.
而且我也没有看完 And I didn't even watch it all the way through,
因为质量太烂了 cos the quality was so poor.
最后你猜 把我的笔记本搞成什么样了 Do you know what happens at the end of The Notebook?
你见过警官了 So, you've met the sergeant.
对啊 Ron 我伙计 亲爱的警官 Yeah, Ron. My buddy. I love the police.
总是先斩后奏 是吧 Shoot first, ask questions later, right?
你收到武器了没 Have you got any weapons?
除非你口袋里有把袖珍枪 Not unless you've got a very small gun in your pocket?
那不是枪 是我的小弟弟 It's not a gun, it's my cock, Ron.
Chantelle 你干什么 指甲不是武器 Chantelle, what are you doing? Fingernails aren't weapons.
那你要去跟 Linda Beale讲 Try telling that to Linda Beale.
没人能在我的地盘用Tulisa香水 No-one wears Tulisa's scent on my turf.
牛奶？ - 我有乳糖不耐症 Milk? I'm lactose intolerant.
这货恶作剧毁了我的大豆拿铁 This one thought it was a funny idea to spike my soya latte.
Mitchell让我干的 - 简直是生化武器 - Mitchell made me do it. - That's chemical warfare!
对 那这也不是武器 Yes, but it's not a weapon.
我从Will Smith学到微量的奶能让我 A trace of dairy and I go from Will Smith to Seal,
比你更快说出玫瑰之吻歌词 quicker than you can say, "Kiss from a rose."
你穿的什么 - 忍者面罩 不是吗 - What are you wearing? - Ninja mask, innit?
用旧T恤做的 Make them out of old T-shirts.
拿掉 手里是什么 Take it off. What have you got to hand in?
来看看 Oh, here we go.
这是你科学课的作业 - 知识就是力量啊老师 This is your science homework. - Knowledge is power, sir.
如果我成为出色的科学家 If I become a brilliant scientist,
我轻轻一按开关就能毁了整个世界 I could destroy the whole world, in the flick of a switch.
也就你的身体可能对科学有帮助 The only thing you could contribute to science is your body.
一边去 Now, go away.
奶酪通心粉 离我远远的 Macaroni cheese? Get that plate away from me.
怎么了 娘炮 Why, Glee?
我过敏 那玩意会整死我 I have an allergy. That plate could kill me.
你不该说的 That was a mistake.
小心了 Mac attack!
我的脸 My face!
♪ Love remained a drug
♪ That's the high and not the pill
♪ But did you know that when it snows
♪ My eyes become large
♪ And the light that you shine can be seen... ♪
你的绝招呢 Consider yourself blitzed!
♪ Baby
♪ I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
♪ Now that your rose is in bloom
♪ A light hits the gloom on the grey... ♪
都住手 停下 Erm, excuse me. Excuse me.
谁给你们的胆子打架的 How dare you use physical violence like this?
这是胆怯的行为 胆怯 It's cowardly. Cowardly.
武器收缴的闹剧
这些忍者面具完全违法了学校规定 These ninja masks are totally against school rules.
都要没收 So, off with their heads.
报纸那边我们要怎么办 What are we going to do about the newspaper?
我可以安抚他们 Oh, I was thinking we could appease them,
替换成其他的新闻 give them a replacement story.
忍者男孩力挽狂澜 "Injured Human Chess Boy in Miracle Recovery."
我觉得应该让他们回来 跟他们解释 I was thinking we ask them back and explain we're taking steps
我们怎么解决这个事件 to teach conflict resolution.
那应该是个好办法 - 我们要怎么做 - Yeah. That might be a better idea. - How do we yabba-dabba-do that?
我去找Ron 他会教人防身术 I spoke to Ron. He's trained in self-defence.
别找那蠢警察 Not that police doofus.
我们可以给学生们示范一下 We could do a demonstration for the kids.
他是个很有趣的人 很有持久力 He's such an interesting guy. He was showing me some of his holds.
他很强壮 有时也很柔软 He's so strong, yet so soft at the same time.
听着想卫生纸 - Preet - Sounds like a toilet roll. - Preet!
我在健身房认识的家伙 能教人防身术 There's a guy at my gym who teaches self-defence.
他很适合 孩子们会喜欢的 He'd be perfect. The kids would love him.
Fraser 我们不能随便找个人就行 Fraser, were not having some random guy from your gym.
Alfie说得对 Ron更合适 Alfie's right. Ron's more qualified.
不过呢 要是这个Preet更专业的话 But I mean, if you say this Preet guy's a professional...
我觉得应该比那傻大兵强吧 I mean, he would probably be better than Sergeant Andrex.
好了 G老师去报纸那边 我去叫我的人 OK. Miss G, You get on to the paper, I'll give my guy a tinkle.
这样安排怎么样 How does that sound, yeah?
Samira我很抱歉 Samira, I am so sorry.
千万别告诉你爸爸 Oh, my God. Please don't tell your father.
自我防卫
暴力无处不在 你要怎么保护你自己 'Violence is everywhere. So how do you protect yourself?
这是Loretta 典型的美国妇女 'This is Loretta, your typical all-American woman.
她在一个爵士乐俱乐部外面 'She's standing outside a jazz club
但是她引来一些爵士乐爱好者 'but she's about to have a run-in with some jazz lovers.'
要是攻击者想阻挡你的视线 'If your attacker tries to blind you,
举起你的手到鼻子前阻挡 raise your hand'up to the bridge of your nose to disable the gouge.
干得好 Loretta 'Well done, Loretta.
下回 为了安全起见 在西部乡村施展 'But next time, play it safe and stick to Country and Western.
Loretta现在哪去了 'And where's Loretta now?
她在看两兄弟打篮球 'She's watching some brothers shooting hoops in the Projects.
如果攻击者在后面 'If an attacker comes from behind,
用高跟鞋跟刮他们的胫骨 scrape down on their shin with the heel of your stiletto.
这回不行 Germaine试试扣篮大满贯的恐慌 'Not this time, Germaine. Try slam dunking the funk after that.
还有记住 11月8号投共和党的票 'And remember, on November 8th...'
好了 我不会理睬那些 So, I would ignore all of that.
你们应该知道 拍那个视频 What you have to remember is, that video was made in a time
那时的人有 when people were...
种族主义 racist.
你给我们看这个干吗 - 因为Jing - Then why did you show it to us? - Because, Jing,
老师这个职业就像一个古老的代码 teachers live by an ancient code as old as time.
就是说 Which is?
要想有深度 就放片子 If you're out of your depth, put on a video.
Stephen在食堂的行为并不酷 Look, what Stephen did in the canteen wasn't cool.
是很酷 痛扁Grayson Well, it was. Grayson's a prick.
对 但你不能这样猛烈抨击 Agreed. But you can't lash out like that.
要是有人给你牛肉呢？ What if someone's giving you beef?
把另一张脸递过去最好的选择 Turning the other cheek will always be the best policy.
像内维尔张伯伦对希特勒 Like Neville Chamberlain did with Hitler?
为什么你只记得历史来证明我是错的 Why do you only ever remember history to prove me wrong?
为了突出你的愚蠢
是的 Jing还有天安门广场 Yes, Jing. And Tiananmen Square.
什么是这星球上最致命的动物 Look, what is the deadliest animal on the planet?
老虎 A tiger.
不对 是人类 我们的生存条件就是去战斗 No, the human being. We're all biologically conditioned to fight.
最致命的武器是人类的大脑 The deadliest weapon on the planet is the human brain.
那是斯蒂芬·霍金 OK, so that Stewart Hawkins bloke.
他是世界上最聪明的家伙 是吧 He's the brainiest guy in the world, right?
斯蒂芬·霍金 不过 Stephen Hawking. Yeah, but...
他要是致命的 那他对战老虎谁会赢 If he's so deadly, who'd win a fight between him and a tiger?
老虎赢啊 很明显 Well, the tiger, obviously.
那他就不是致命的 - 那不是重点 - So he's not the deadliest. - That's not the point.
让他对战鲨鱼怎么样 What about him versus a shark?
鲨鱼赢 - 什么 在干燥的土地也是吗 - The shark. - What, even on dry land?
不是 我觉得鲨鱼应该先晒干了 No, I guess on dry land the shark would probably dry out.
不敢相信我们还在说这个 I can't believe I'm even playing this game.
有很多动物能杀了斯蒂芬·霍金 Look, there are plenty of animals that could kill Stephen Hawking.
獾也行 - 是 獾也有可能 - Like a badger? - Yes, a badger probably would.
怎么会 - 我那知道 - How, though? - I don't know.
咬他 让他得肺结核 Bite him, give him TB.
Wickers老师 我来送回Stephen Mr Wickers, I'm just returning Stephen.
你向Grayson道歉了吗 - 我告诉他圈圈 - Did you apologise to Grayson? - I told him to swivel.
看吧 任何事都可以通过交谈解决 See, proof that everything can be resolved with words.
以色列和巴勒斯坦可以吗 What about Israel and Palestine?
别显摆了 Oh, stop learning.
Wickers老师 能占你一会时间吗 Mr Wickers, can I bum a dime of your time?
Jing呃 Jing, er...
照看一下 Take over.
别动 - 怎么了 - Stay down. - What the hell?
停止反抗 不要动 Cease and desist. Cease and desist.
好 好 我不反抗 让我走行吗 All right, I desist. Please, just let me go.
经典啊 - 怎么回事 - Classic! - What the hell is going on?
绝对经典 这是Preet我的健身教练 Absolutely classic. Alfie, this is Preet from my gym.
你好 老兄 荣幸认识你 Hi bro, pleasure. Preet Van Der Plessiss.
这是干吗 What is this?
这是专业的个人防身教练 This is your very own personal safety guru.
我喜欢这个小白脸 Frase 勇敢 I like this moffie, Frase. Spunky.
拍一下就发狂 - 说什么 - You putt from the rough, yah? - What?
你去karoo吗 Do you take it in the karoo?
你是个干肉片? 谷湖的呆子 You're a biltong-er? A kak-goofer?
我搞混了老兄 No, I'm messing, bro.
我是来教你的学生怎么打架的 No, no, I'm here to show your kids how to bring the fire to a brawl.
他说的是防止打架 He means prevent a fight.
或者摧残女人 Or maybe paralyse a woman.
我给你说过 Preet改变了我的人生 I told you, Alf. Preet changed my life.
刚来的时候就是个瘦骨如柴的废人 Yah, Teach here may look like a scrawny sack of shit and bones
但我已经把他变成了一条眼镜蛇 - but I've turned him into a cobra. - Ssssss.
有想过这个问题 我的学生应该没事的 Yeah, well, having thought about it, I think my kids'll be fine.
是这样吗 老兄 Are they though, bro?
要是我带着猎刀闯进你的班级 If I cammoed up and broke into your class with a hunting knife,
在我杀一两个学生之前 你能把我放到吗 would you take me down before I butchered a kiddie or two?
我逗你呢 不是真的 I'm messing, bro. No, no, no.
Fraser 这人允许靠近孩子吗 Fraser, is this man even allowed near children?
他有资格证吗 I mean, has he got a CRB check?
Alf 我已经付了钱了 而且是退不回来的 Alf, I've paid for Preet's time and he's serious bunce.
你至少考虑一下 Would you at least consider it?
这个东西你问我 Is this one of these things where you ask me
总之要去做的事情 要不要去做 for permission for something that's definitely happening anyway?
是 Yes.
行了 我去卸车 你们有缓冲垫吧 Great, well I'll unload the van. You got crash mats?
缓冲垫 Crash mats?
我要教他们应对任何事情 Yah, I need to show them how to deal with anything.
你个下流 给人跪舔的废材 You're a filthy, dick-licking piece of bokke shit.
但是我喜欢 But I like you.
我真的 真的 很喜欢 I really, really like you.
他就是这样的人 He always does that.
都听好了 你们这些小混蛋 OK, listen up, you rag-tag pack of cocksuckers.
我们能不能 Right, OK. Can we just
在同性恋恐惧的孩子面前收敛一点 reign in the homophobia a little in front of the children?
站好你的姿势 小白脸 Yeah, keep your plug in, dick tickler!
为了个人安全 谁想学一寸拳 So, personal safety. Who wants to know how to throw a one-inch punch?
这边 老兄 - Yes, bruv.
显然 我们不用那样 Obviously, we won't be doing that
我们是来学习如何避免暴力的 as this class is about avoiding violent situations.
要赢得胜利靠的是这里 Now, all you need to win in a fight is...that.
攻击太阳穴 - 是思考 - Head butts. - Thinking!
Preet是来教大家认识什么是危险 是吧 Preet is going to help you identify the danger signs, aren't you, Preet?
如何发现问题 - 种族歧视 - How to spot trouble. - Yah, racial profiling.
现在是黑人 亚洲人也很棘手 It used to just be Blacks, now Asians are tricky too.
那很不不恰当 - 我们是不是 That's inappropriate. Um, shall we...
志愿者 谁想活动一下 OK. Volunteers. Who wants to dance?
我 我 我 我 Me! Me! Me! Me!
我来示范 I will do it. Aw, sir...
行 灌肠管 OK, butt stuffer.
拿着你的装备 Here's your kit.
我是不会穿的 I'm not getting changed.
行 坐轮椅的 你来 Fine. Wheels, you're up
好 来 我来 OK, I'm going. I'm going.
这样好多了 小白脸 Yah, that's better, puss.
准备好和爹地玩了吗 Now you're ready to play with Daddy.
好 记住重要的一点 Right. Um... Now, it is very important to remember
我们不纵容暴力 that we are not condoning violence.
我们要展示是最后才使用的手段 What we are going to show you now is absolutely the last resort.
锁喉使窒息 The choke hold.
要更好玩 猛戳气管 And for some real fun, jab the windpipe.
好了 矮胖子 你在浴室 Right, Podge, you're in the shower room.
这货爬进来了 快想 你要怎么办 This fudge-tunneller creeps in. Think quick, what you gonna do?
把脸递过去 Er, turn the other cheek?
在浴室里 不是 他就希望那样 In the shower? No, bro, he wants that.
你要直击他的要害 - 喔 我的命根子 - You want to get him in his yam yams. - Not my yam yams...
快放手 Please let go.
起身 你来 Get up, you prawn.
不要 - 我来 No. - I will!
Mitchell记住我说过 Mitchell, remember what I said.
思想是比任何武器都强大的 The mind is the strongest weapon that there is.
大错特错 这里显然防暴警棍 Wrong. Teach here has clearly never felt a riot baton.
你要干什么 - 老兄 这里是非洲 - Why did you do that? - TIA, bro. This is Africa.
不是 这里是赫特福德郡 It's not, it's Hertfordshire.
下一步 小骚货 用一下你的高跟鞋 Next step. Stukkie, can I borrow your high heels?
不行 老师说要和平的解决 No. Sir said to seek a peaceful solution.
这些都是新面貌 And anyway, these are New Look.
行 我们跳过直击到泰瑟枪 Fine, we'll skip the full frontal and move straight to the Taser.
什么东西 What?
泰瑟枪 不行 What?! Taser? No way!
嗨 把泰瑟枪给我 老兄 快点 Hey, pass me the Taser, bro, come on.
我要治治这鸡巴的毛病 I'm gonna neutralise this cock-knocker.
他的舌头尝不到我糖棒了 He'll not be getting his tongue on my sugar.
Stephen不要 来人救命啊 Stephen, no! Please, someone, help!
但是老师你说不能用暴力 But sir, you've been telling us not to!
我错了 百分之百确定我错了 I was wrong. A hundred percent, definitely wrong.
不要在反抗了 - Joe - Cease and desist! - Joe!
糟糕 Shit.
怎么 What?
他是个刺头 He was a prick!
我们能拍照吗 看这边 在观察报刊登 'Can we get a picture please, mate? This way. It's for The Observer.'
看起来武器收缴已经完成了 So, looks like our weapons amnesty worked out after all.
是啊 发生了什么吗 Yeah. What happened though?
你知道 我是和平主义者 Well, you know I'm a pacifist so
他开始攻击我时 when he started attacking me,
我给学生们树立非暴力的榜样 I set an example to all of the kids by non-violently
承受他所有的击打 soaking up all of his negative energy.
哇哦 做的真好 Oh, wow. That's so great.
这需要真正的力量 That takes real strength...
然后我用电击到了他 - Then I tasered him.
幸好Ron来了 Oh. Thank God Ron was here.
抱歉 伙计们 你们俩能在一起来一张吗 'Sorry guys, can we get one of you two together, please?
就在那 拜托 'Over here, come on, chaps!'
哦 拍照 - Oh! Picture.
非常感谢 'Thank you very much. Lovely.'
人类男孩力挽狂澜
Alfie 很对不起 Alfie? Look, I'm sorry.
我想过你说的了 - 我也是 - No. I've thought about what you said. - So have I.
我违反了书上的每一条规则 And I've broken every rule in the book,
但我不想让你离开 but I didn't want you being left out.
Alfie - 别担心这个 - Alfie... - Don't worry about it.
不是那个 Well, no, it's not that.
只是东京罪不再酷了 It's just that Tokyo Sin isn't cool any more.
没听见吗 老爷爷 现在都是谋杀叶 Ain't you heard, Grandad? It's all about Murder Blade.
谋杀叶 听起来更糟糕 Murder Blade? That sounds even worse.
就是用小纸板方格 然后你堆起来 Basically, you've got these little cardboard squares, then you pile 'em up,
然后在拿更多的小纸板方格堆在上面 then you throw more little cardboard squares at the little cardboard squares.
但 But...
这就是Pogs啊 That's just Pogs!